Monday, February 17, 2014

I Couldn't Make This Stuff Up If I Tried

Today was a long day after being off Thursday and Friday. I felt frazzled most of the day and felt like I didn't get anything accomplished. So I was in desperate need of a laugh which caused me to go hunting through my Facebook.

Over the course of my three years of teaching, I have plenty of crazy student comments that I have collected on my own personal Facebook that I decided to compile some of them for your viewing pleasure. These are all from this year of teaching. I have soooo many more but that would require time to Facebook stalk myself. 

I promise you, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. These are all actual things that happened with my students.

August 28, 2013
Animal Farm was a summer reading book

"Bring Animal Farm to class tomorrow. You'll need it" ~Me
"Wait. We needed to read that book? I thought we just had to do the assignment!" ~students

This is teaching day number 1.

And this is why I'll eventually have a permanent dent in my desk from my head.

September 19, 2013
Upon my seniors discovering that I have written up 8 students for cheating this week via the method of copying and pasting:

"Our generation is doomed!" ~Student 1

"Damnit America! We can't even cheat right anymore! Our country is going downhill!" ~Student 2

September 24, 2013
The assignment: Using your knowledge of 1960's America, what might Dr. Seuss' The Sneetches be an allegorical reference to?

The answer that I have gotten from enough students to be worried about the future of America:


Somehow the Civil Rights movement was a movement to end slavery.

I'm going to go cry now.

October 22, 2013

"Gilgamesh is told to chill out."

Literary analysis from a sophomore right there.

November 5, 2013
In reference to finding out my mom would be the long term sub for a math teacher

"Your mom can't be a math teacher" ~ freshmen
"Why not? I promise you she is" ~ me
"She is too nice to be a math teacher! What is she teaching, sunshine math?" ~ freshmen

November 13, 2013
Moment of feeling old: Freshmen phone goes off in class with the ring tone of "WAAAAZZZZZZUP!" The kids all laugh and I take the phone. At the end of class, the kids were asking where that was from.

None of them knew.

I was shocked. Then I realized none of them were ALIVE when that commercial came out.


December 13, 2013
I was notified that my "swag level" has increased to an insanely high level due to having colored staples.

Get on my level people.

January 10, 2014
"Does this story about the Nigerians take place in Africa or a different country?" ~sophomore

I just banged my head on my desk. Multiple times.

January 24, 2014
Putting students in group for a debate and I group together five boys that I know that didn't read.

"This group isn't fair!" ~student 1
"Well, you know she did it because she knows we didn't read" ~Student 2

To student 2 "There is hope for you." ~me

February 3, 2014
Today I told a student to stop being a fool and pretending that he knew something when he clearly wasn't listening.

He informed me to grab a pair of gloves to see if it would fit and that he promised it wouldn't.

I thanked him for the O.J. reference. The rest of the class didn't know who that was.

Not sure if I should be impressed my one student knew the case or sad the rest of my class didn't.

February 7, 2014
I have an out of work response set up on my email and I told all my students I may not be able to respond as quickly as normal. A student emailed me yesterday. He just sent another saying "You were able to send an email saying you were in Baltimore but not one to answer my question. Why is that? I really need an answer."

Note: the question they are asking me is if they need to write in complete sentences for an assignment. Not only have I said it in class multiple times, it is also on the directions. 

I worry sometimes....

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