An Ode to Wikipedia

It is National Poetry Month and I'm an English teacher. I feel like I should participate and write a poem.

Now, I am not a very good poet. I know the techniques, styles, and how to read them but when it comes to writing, I'm not the best. However, I should practice what I preach to my students and be willing to take a creative risk.

After much thought, I have decided to write an ode to Wikipedia.

For those of you who may not know, an ode is a poem where the author talks about one specific thing they find amazing and praise worthy. There is no hidden meaning in this poem unlike "Ode on a Grecian Urn" by John Keats. I just really like Wikipedia and my ode will tell you why.

"Ode to Wikipedia" by Dailyish Teacher

Wikipedia

You are misjudged and feared by many

Schools see you as a shortcut

Making classroom information as worthless as a penny

"Why should I learn this?"

Students cry out

"I can just look up the answer on Wikipedia!"

As the teacher sits at her desk and pouts

"Curse you Wikipedia!"

Many frustrated teachers yell

"I already have to deal with Facebook and Twitter

And kids constantly on their cells!"

But I know you better than that Wikipedia

Where others see a shortcut

And the easy way out

I see a way to get out of a rut

"In a world of instant answers
How do I teach a student
That not doing research and trusting everything written
Is an act most imprudent?"

I searched and I searched
All of the lessons were tired
They were out of date and not relatable
It was time for them to just retire

Then it hit me
Like when the name of that guy that escapes you
When you're watching a movie
And you remember his name five hours later out of the blue

"Wikipedia!"
I shouted with glee
"You're perfect for this job!"
So I sat down to plan excited as can be

First I needed to put myself in my student’s shoes
And think about why they used Wikipedia
The answer was quite simple:
Wikipedia is easier to use than any encyclopedia

Why waste time looking up information in an old book
Or typing things into a Google search
Only to sort through thousands of results when the information
Was all at one site thus simplifying research

“But anyone can edit!”
The logical side of my brain screams out
“How do I make the kids see
That you can’t trust the information without some doubt?”

Turns out Stephen Colbert already did the work for me
In his quest for “truthiness” he created “Wikiality”
Where he encouraged enough people to agree with his “facts”
In order to “bring democracy to knowledge” and increase his reality

He used satire to show the flaws
Of a system that allows edits
From anyone no matter their knowledge
Without having the proper credits

By showing the clip
I can allow my students to see
The dangers of Wikipedia
Since an edit can be made without a degree

Oh but Wikipedia
I know you are not all bad
Because there is so much good
That those that think otherwise make me sad

Although anyone can edit
The entries are policed
By those committed to making sure
That misinformation does not become an untamable beast

When edits are made
They need to ensure they have the proper citation
To include in the reference section
So that they ensure a well-information nation

If the source is deemed unreliable
The information is deleted
And the editors can discuss why in the “Talk” page
Which can sometimes can get rather heated

Many want to include opinions
But Wikipedia will not allow such things
Since the information is supposed to be factual
And not have made up information sit on top like kings

Although that is all fine and dandy
Many things go unnoticed
And opinions sneak through to confuse the reader
But that is where the lesson of research comes into focus

“You can use Wikipedia”
I tell my shell shocked students
“Just always go down to the reference section
To make sure the source is good and not a nuisance”

I sing your praises Wikipedia
Because now that my students can use you
They no longer try to hide things and now will actually
Do the research to ensure the information is not untrue

Although you are a shortcut
You are a good one
My students are now willing to do research
When before they were willing to do none

Since you require a reference page
I am not afraid to send students to you
As long as they know to check those citations
To make sure they are not taboo

So thank you Wikipedia
I owe you more than you can ever know
My students are learning good research skills and their ability
To know what is reliable and what is not continues to grow

#devolson

The school year has started which means it is time to start blogging again*

Here is why I never ask my students what they did over the summer because this would be my response:

I taught summer school. When I wasn't teaching summer school I was reading a book and drinking wine.

Not that exciting.

But now we are into the school year and specifically that time of year known as DEVOLSON** which stands for The Dark, Evil Vortex of Late September, October, and November which is to explain that early burnt out, tired feeling you get during this time of year because you have yet to settled into the routine of school and the transition into that routine usually takes the the first three months of school. This feeling tends to lead you to slightly lose your mind.

Although I did not invent this title, I am here to say this is real.

For example, this was an actual Facebook status I posted:

How To Start Your Thursday Morning:
1) Wake up from a dream where the secretary responsible for sub plans was yelling at you for not submitting sub plans and missing school.
2) Look at your clock and realize that was your subconscious telling you that you had over slept your alarms and that it is 6:20 and you have to be at work by 7:30
3) See a text from your roommate asking for you to wake them up so they could move their car
4) Throw markers at your roommate to wake them up
5) Struggle to find your ID and eventually find it right where you left it the night before
6) Rush out the door all ready to call the office saying you're going to be late only to realize that since you rushed through getting ready and were able to hit all the lights at green, it is actually 6:50 in the morning.
7) You go in and get a cup of coffee and breathe
This guide is brought to you by a full time teacher in graduate school

That was my actual morning. Besides reading the list Love, Teach gives to survive this, I present you with my method.

Four Ways to Survive DEVOLSON According to Dailyish Teacher

1. Limit your wine drinking to only one glass. Seriously. You'll want to drink a lot. Don't go overboard. It will make it worse
   
2. Create a "Happy File." Since I limit my wine drinking, I need another way to feel happy. I do this with my "Happy File" which is a collection of student sticky notes, sayings from my daily calendar that I have saved, emails from parents I have printed out, and even the drawings students give me (Yes....high school students still draw their teachers pictures especially when they get bored during a test)
   
3. Keep pictures of someone you don't hate on your desk at work. Boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/best friend etc. Pick the person you tend to complain to because they make you feel sane again. Just looking at their picture will make you feel better
   
4. Laugh. Laugh a lot. This is the most important one. This is the one that helps the most. This is why I keep my desktop background rotating between images I find amusing.I also post some of my favorites on my bulletin board next to my desk so I can just turn my head and laugh when I need it. 

Since I can't really help you with 1 - 3, I figured I would give you a jump start on 4 with some things to laugh about.

This is students in a nutshell

*If you notice I only blog when I want to avoid grading. This is the best type of blogging. It allows me to feel productive while

** I did not create this term. The lovely Love, Teach did. She is hilarious. You should read her blog. She is much better/experienced then me at this. She even writes for WeTeachers and has a bingo game you can play

10 Problems Only Teachers Will Understand

Being a teacher is classified as a "white collar" job. Somethings are the same; we have contracts like most other professions and have assigned hours we have to be at work. We also have to have meetings and do reports.

However, our days are super unique in that there are a lot of events and problems that other "white collar" jobs, specifically those that occur in an office, will never understand.

I am lucky in the sense that two of my best friends are teachers so when I complain about this stuff, they understand me and can relate. When I complain to my boyfriend, he kind of stares at me bewildered that these things happen. 

I do apologize if this is pretty high school specific. Although, many elementary teachers will be able to relate to the majority of them.

10 Problems Only Teachers Will Understand

1. Finished reading directions out loud in class. "Does anyone have any questions?" ~teacher "Yeah, I don't understand." ~student "Okay, what don't you understand?" ~teacher "All of it. What are we doing again?" ~student
   
   
   
   
2. Read out loud in class: "In what vile part of this anatomy / Doth my name lodge?" (Romeo and Juliet III.iii) "What does Romeo literally ask for the location of?" ~teacher ::silence:: ~students
   
   
   
   
3. "What do you mean it doesn't make sense? I made sure I used big words so that it would make sense." ~ student "Do you know the definition of the word you used?" ~teacher "No. But why does that matter? It is a smart word" ~student
   
   
   
   
4. The constant murmur of students talking while you're trying to explain directions
   
   
   
   
5. Day after turning in essay: "Did you grade my essay yet?" ~student
   
   
   
   
6. "I don't get it!" ~student "Did you read the directions?" ~teacher "No. But it is still confusing!" ~student
   
   
   
   
   
7. Parent sends an email during 1st period while you are teaching. Check your email the first chance you get three periods later: you have three follow up emails demanding to know why you haven't answered yet
   
   
   
   
8. "My son is smart! Why are you failing him?" ~ parent "He hasn't turned in any assignments or his paper." ~teacher "So? Why is that stuff even important?" ~ parent
   
   
   
   
   
9. "What do you mean you can't go to Taco Tuesday because you have to grade? Don't you get off work at 3pm? Why would you have to do work after you're done with work" ~"friends"
   
   

   

   My actual response to that text message

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
10. Reviews with class. Offers to stay early and late for help. Constantly asks if the students understand. Class average on test: 65%
    
    

Despite all of this, I still love my job. I must be crazy

Re-titled Novels and Plays

My sophomores drove me up a wall yesterday when I assigned an essay. Some of the things that came out of their mouths hurt my soul* but one thing that they said, not only hurt my soul, but gave me this blog idea.

While assigning the essay on Middle Eastern and African literature, one of my students made the connection back to Things Fall Apart. However, they did not say "Things Fall Apart," they said "That book about that guy that killed himself because of some white guys or something."

Yes, I'm sure that is what the novel is titled.

This lead to an idea.

What if high school students titled novels/plays?

So, using the knowledge of what my students have said in the past, I have put together some titles of famous novels that we read at my school as if they were titled by my students.

Sadly, I could keep going but I must stop before it gets out of hand and I neglect my grading.


*Here is why: I assigned the thesis essay using the same requirements I have used all year and that were used their freshmen year since it is a department policy and just common writing sense. (If you don't know what they are, go here. It will help) These quotes actually came out of their mouths:

"Wait! We need quotes?! Since when do we need quotes?!"
"Holy crap! We need a works cited page? Why do I need one when I have the thing after the quote?"
"So we only need two quotes for the entire paper right?"

Survival of 3rd Quarter Slump

Ah, the end of the 3rd quarter has happened. For those of you that teach high school (maybe middle school as well), you know that grades drop significantly during this quarter. The underclassmen assume that they have life figured out, so they start to slack off. The juniors have started to get too preoccupied with prom and the seniors have started to stop caring (the real challenge comes to get seniors to do ANYTHING during 4th quarter).

Due to all of this, the grades of most students drop a letter grade if not more. This then causes parents to freak out and email you over, and over, and over, and over asking for grade changes. It also causes students BEGGING for extra credit.

How do you survive this? I have a few suggestions for you.

• Pretend you have become completely computer illiterate and you don't know how to access your email until a week after the 4th quarter starts. "Oh, I'm sorry. I had temporary amnesia and couldn't remember how to log into my email." I'm sure the parents will understand
    
• Smile anytime any student says something to you. Just smile. Don't speak. Just smile. The students will be driven away by your creepiness.
   
  
     

• Respond to any email with condescending Wonka. This is my personal favorite option.
  
   
     
• Throw your computer out the window. You know, because if you don't have a computer, you can't answer any emails. It is a fool proof excuse.
     
• Remember that you're supposed to be a professional and keep your cool even though it is super annoying that the students only care about their grades now. This is obviously the only logical option. Which is why the douchebag student meme should help. Yes, I know I've used this before but when it helps, it helps.
  
  

7 Painfully Accurate High School Teacher Hashtags

So this awesome Buzzfeed post is titled "24 Painfully Accurate Teacher Hashtags" and like most things, it is directed mostly at elementary teachers (or so I hope because I pray no high school teacher would use #WhyIsThisSticky because I'm pretty sure if you are saying this to high school students, it isn't the same type of "sticky".....).

There is nothing wrong with this since I'm all for elementary teachers because, well, they are teachers but, I would like to make it more geared towards high school teachers, although some could apply across the board. So, to replace the seven (numbers 2, 3, 4, 12, 14, 17, 23) that are geared towards elementary school, I present to you:

7 Painfully Accurate High School Teacher Hashtags

1. #PaperGrading #DidYouReallyWriteThat
   
   

   

   Pearls Before Swine

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. #ExtraCredit #DoYourWork
   
   
   
3. #Listen #GetOffTwitter
   
   
4. #Parents #ScreamsInside
   
   
   
5. #Senoritis #BeMoreThanABlob
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
6. #LastDayOfQuarter #OhNowYouCare
   
   
   
7. #BangsHeadOnDesk #Cries
   
   

Just What I Needed

After a very bad day of wondering if my students would EVER actually see what I'm doing for them, I decided to go back through my old Facebook statuses to see if I ever talked about how appreciative my students were of me. I was not disappointed.

All of these posts were from the end of my second year of teaching. I had a group of sophomores that I had taught for two years in a row and the majority of these comments are from them.


June 4, 2013
"Wait! You're not teaching juniors? But you're supposed to be my English teacher for life!" ~sophomore I've had for two years

June 5, 2013
I informed my sophomore boys not to scare the new English teachers away next year when they have them. Their response:

"We're going to scare away every single English teacher until you're the only one left to teach us."


I'm not sure if I should be flattered or terrified for their junior teachers......

June 5, 2013
"I want to sincerely say thank you so much for all you have done. I know I am not the easiest student to control or the most obedient student, however you have taken time out of your days to help me. Thank you for having for much patience with me even though I know you want to throw me out the window at times. You've made these two years a little easier by helping me out and I appreciate the time spent greatly. THANK YOU!" ~card from my sophomore student


I guess I did something right.

June 11, 2013
I'm sitting here almost tearing up at what my students wrote in my year book. They didn't just sign their names, they wrote half pages and pages to me. Some highlights:

"You have taught me so much: how to write, how to break down literature, and how to notice the vile, inappropriate things Shakespeare put in his plays."

"Oh, and if you get married, please invite me to the wedding."

"You're super hip. Which is cool because most teachers have osteoporosis" (yes....he spelled it right.)

"You literally made me laugh every day and when you were gone for like 2 weeks or a month for your knee surgery I almost died"

"I don't think another teacher could have put up with me for so long." (a sophomore I had two years)

"It has been a blast and you have been one of the reason I've survived high school so far."


"It is teachers like you that make students want to learn and have fun"

I Couldn't Make This Stuff Up If I Tried

Today was a long day after being off Thursday and Friday. I felt frazzled most of the day and felt like I didn't get anything accomplished. So I was in desperate need of a laugh which caused me to go hunting through my Facebook.

Over the course of my three years of teaching, I have plenty of crazy student comments that I have collected on my own personal Facebook that I decided to compile some of them for your viewing pleasure. These are all from this year of teaching. I have soooo many more but that would require time to Facebook stalk myself. 

I promise you, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. These are all actual things that happened with my students.

August 28, 2013
Animal Farm was a summer reading book

"Bring Animal Farm to class tomorrow. You'll need it" ~Me
"Wait. We needed to read that book? I thought we just had to do the assignment!" ~students

This is teaching day number 1.


And this is why I'll eventually have a permanent dent in my desk from my head.

September 19, 2013
Upon my seniors discovering that I have written up 8 students for cheating this week via the method of copying and pasting:

"Our generation is doomed!" ~Student 1

"Damnit America! We can't even cheat right anymore! Our country is going downhill!" ~Student 2

September 24, 2013
The assignment: Using your knowledge of 1960's America, what might Dr. Seuss' The Sneetches be an allegorical reference to?

The answer that I have gotten from enough students to be worried about the future of America:

Slavery

Somehow the Civil Rights movement was a movement to end slavery.


I'm going to go cry now.


October 22, 2013

"Gilgamesh is told to chill out."


Literary analysis from a sophomore right there.

November 5, 2013
In reference to finding out my mom would be the long term sub for a math teacher

"Your mom can't be a math teacher" ~ freshmen
"Why not? I promise you she is" ~ me
"She is too nice to be a math teacher! What is she teaching, sunshine math?" ~ freshmen

November 13, 2013
Moment of feeling old: Freshmen phone goes off in class with the ring tone of "WAAAAZZZZZZUP!" The kids all laugh and I take the phone. At the end of class, the kids were asking where that was from.

None of them knew.

I was shocked. Then I realized none of them were ALIVE when that commercial came out.


Crap.

December 13, 2013
I was notified that my "swag level" has increased to an insanely high level due to having colored staples.


Get on my level people.

January 10, 2014
"Does this story about the Nigerians take place in Africa or a different country?" ~sophomore


I just banged my head on my desk. Multiple times.

January 24, 2014
Putting students in group for a debate and I group together five boys that I know that didn't read.

"This group isn't fair!" ~student 1
"Well, you know she did it because she knows we didn't read" ~Student 2

To student 2 "There is hope for you." ~me

February 3, 2014

Today I told a student to stop being a fool and pretending that he knew something when he clearly wasn't listening.

He informed me to grab a pair of gloves to see if it would fit and that he promised it wouldn't.

I thanked him for the O.J. reference. The rest of the class didn't know who that was.

Not sure if I should be impressed my one student knew the case or sad the rest of my class didn't.

February 7, 2014
I have an out of work response set up on my email and I told all my students I may not be able to respond as quickly as normal. A student emailed me yesterday. He just sent another saying "You were able to send an email saying you were in Baltimore but not one to answer my question. Why is that? I really need an answer."

Note: the question they are asking me is if they need to write in complete sentences for an assignment. Not only have I said it in class multiple times, it is also on the directions. 

I worry sometimes....

Puppies in Birthday Hats

I have had a long day. It is Friday. I have last period planning. I do not feel like grading at this current moment. Exams are next week so my students are stressed. Perfect time for something to laugh about.

Enjoy my friend's dogs celebrating a doggie birthday. This picture is my go to picture for a smile and a laugh.

http://imgur.com/gallery/plV3fd5