An Ode to Wikipedia

It is National Poetry Month and I'm an English teacher. I feel like I should participate and write a poem.

Now, I am not a very good poet. I know the techniques, styles, and how to read them but when it comes to writing, I'm not the best. However, I should practice what I preach to my students and be willing to take a creative risk.

After much thought, I have decided to write an ode to Wikipedia.

For those of you who may not know, an ode is a poem where the author talks about one specific thing they find amazing and praise worthy. There is no hidden meaning in this poem unlike "Ode on a Grecian Urn" by John Keats. I just really like Wikipedia and my ode will tell you why.

"Ode to Wikipedia" by Dailyish Teacher

Wikipedia

You are misjudged and feared by many

Schools see you as a shortcut

Making classroom information as worthless as a penny

"Why should I learn this?"

Students cry out

"I can just look up the answer on Wikipedia!"

As the teacher sits at her desk and pouts

"Curse you Wikipedia!"

Many frustrated teachers yell

"I already have to deal with Facebook and Twitter

And kids constantly on their cells!"

But I know you better than that Wikipedia

Where others see a shortcut

And the easy way out

I see a way to get out of a rut

"In a world of instant answers
How do I teach a student
That not doing research and trusting everything written
Is an act most imprudent?"

I searched and I searched
All of the lessons were tired
They were out of date and not relatable
It was time for them to just retire

Then it hit me
Like when the name of that guy that escapes you
When you're watching a movie
And you remember his name five hours later out of the blue

"Wikipedia!"
I shouted with glee
"You're perfect for this job!"
So I sat down to plan excited as can be

First I needed to put myself in my student’s shoes
And think about why they used Wikipedia
The answer was quite simple:
Wikipedia is easier to use than any encyclopedia

Why waste time looking up information in an old book
Or typing things into a Google search
Only to sort through thousands of results when the information
Was all at one site thus simplifying research

“But anyone can edit!”
The logical side of my brain screams out
“How do I make the kids see
That you can’t trust the information without some doubt?”

Turns out Stephen Colbert already did the work for me
In his quest for “truthiness” he created “Wikiality”
Where he encouraged enough people to agree with his “facts”
In order to “bring democracy to knowledge” and increase his reality

He used satire to show the flaws
Of a system that allows edits
From anyone no matter their knowledge
Without having the proper credits

By showing the clip
I can allow my students to see
The dangers of Wikipedia
Since an edit can be made without a degree

Oh but Wikipedia
I know you are not all bad
Because there is so much good
That those that think otherwise make me sad

Although anyone can edit
The entries are policed
By those committed to making sure
That misinformation does not become an untamable beast

When edits are made
They need to ensure they have the proper citation
To include in the reference section
So that they ensure a well-information nation

If the source is deemed unreliable
The information is deleted
And the editors can discuss why in the “Talk” page
Which can sometimes can get rather heated

Many want to include opinions
But Wikipedia will not allow such things
Since the information is supposed to be factual
And not have made up information sit on top like kings

Although that is all fine and dandy
Many things go unnoticed
And opinions sneak through to confuse the reader
But that is where the lesson of research comes into focus

“You can use Wikipedia”
I tell my shell shocked students
“Just always go down to the reference section
To make sure the source is good and not a nuisance”

I sing your praises Wikipedia
Because now that my students can use you
They no longer try to hide things and now will actually
Do the research to ensure the information is not untrue

Although you are a shortcut
You are a good one
My students are now willing to do research
When before they were willing to do none

Since you require a reference page
I am not afraid to send students to you
As long as they know to check those citations
To make sure they are not taboo

So thank you Wikipedia
I owe you more than you can ever know
My students are learning good research skills and their ability
To know what is reliable and what is not continues to grow

Believing in Angels

I have freshmen essays to grade and the new season of House of Cards is calling my name.* In an effort to remain productive in someway, I have decided to write a blog post.

I could continue on why life isn't fair but, as I've learned over the last year, one of the best ways not to fall into a deep vortex of life sucking is to find positive things.

Last night, my boyfriend and I were watching a stand up comedian named Matt Braunger. Like most comedians, he was talking about how he has been going through some depressing things. His way through this hard stuff is by believing in angels**. As he says, angels are "anything that makes you laugh when you don't think you can possibly laugh."

I love this term. So, I'm going to borrow it and expand it a little to include things that made me smile and give you a few angels in my life that have helped over the past week.

The 3 Angels in Dailyish Teacher's Life the Past Week

1. Hungry Hungry Hippos: Alright, I know. You may be saying to yourself "Why on Earth would a board game be your angel?" I wouldn't blame you if you did. But watch this video to see why:
   
   
   Post by Brittney Lauren.
   
   
   Okay so that video was posted by a coworker on Facebook with the caption, "Alright we need to do this at the next pep rally" and tagged over 30 teachers and admin. The best part about this is that EVERYONE was game to do it. So much so that I think we convinced the head of student life to plan it even though she is out on maternity leave. If this actually happens, I will be so pumped! Even if it doesn't happen, it still makes me laugh because of how awesome it is and how awesome the teachers/faculty are at that school for doing it. I'm so game for life size Hungry Hungry Hippo
   
2. Twitter: Again, this may seem strange but I'm very thankful for Twitter. I constantly search for my name on Twitter to see what the kids are saying about me. This may seem narcissistic but I do it for two reasons: 1) Teenagers tend to use Twitter to vent and if they are saying bad things about me then I know I'm doing something wrong and 2) If they are saying bad things about me, I can use it not to just change but to make it a lesson in digital citizenship and being aware of what is put out on the Internet. Anyway, I mentioned the other day how I wrote sympathy cards to my students. I didn't expect to hear from them at all but low and behold, when I searched my name tonight this gem popped up:
   
   
   
   I made a difference. I know it was small but to these teenagers, it meant the world which is why I do what I do.





3. Love, Teach: Oh my gosh do I love her posts. Every single one makes me either laugh out loud or go "awwww." Mostly they make me laugh out loud. Still, she is one of my angels.*** Seriously, look at these Facebook updates:
   
   
   Post by Love, Teach.
   
   
   
   
   Post by Love, Teach.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   Post by Love, Teach.
   
   
   
   
   
   Post by Love, Teach.


Are you not entertained?! Seriously though, go read her blog. I promise you will love it.

It always amazes me how much social media can make my day. Without it, I would never have been able to laugh and smile this past week. Thank you Facebook and Twitter. You've been amazing.

"Loss of life is to be mourned but only if that life was wasted" ~Spock
Live Long and Prosper Leonard Nimoy

*The essays make me want to jump off a bridge at times and House of Cards kind of promotes doing that, or at least pushing someone off of it....needless to say not a good combination.

**Watch the clip. It is hilarious. Just be aware, some language is NSFW so you may not want to pull it up on your lunch break without head phones.

***Nominated for Best Education Blog for the Webblog Awards. You should go vote for her. http://2015.bloggi.es/

10 Problems Only Teachers Will Understand

Being a teacher is classified as a "white collar" job. Somethings are the same; we have contracts like most other professions and have assigned hours we have to be at work. We also have to have meetings and do reports.

However, our days are super unique in that there are a lot of events and problems that other "white collar" jobs, specifically those that occur in an office, will never understand.

I am lucky in the sense that two of my best friends are teachers so when I complain about this stuff, they understand me and can relate. When I complain to my boyfriend, he kind of stares at me bewildered that these things happen. 

I do apologize if this is pretty high school specific. Although, many elementary teachers will be able to relate to the majority of them.

10 Problems Only Teachers Will Understand

1. Finished reading directions out loud in class. "Does anyone have any questions?" ~teacher "Yeah, I don't understand." ~student "Okay, what don't you understand?" ~teacher "All of it. What are we doing again?" ~student
   
   
   
   
2. Read out loud in class: "In what vile part of this anatomy / Doth my name lodge?" (Romeo and Juliet III.iii) "What does Romeo literally ask for the location of?" ~teacher ::silence:: ~students
   
   
   
   
3. "What do you mean it doesn't make sense? I made sure I used big words so that it would make sense." ~ student "Do you know the definition of the word you used?" ~teacher "No. But why does that matter? It is a smart word" ~student
   
   
   
   
4. The constant murmur of students talking while you're trying to explain directions
   
   
   
   
5. Day after turning in essay: "Did you grade my essay yet?" ~student
   
   
   
   
6. "I don't get it!" ~student "Did you read the directions?" ~teacher "No. But it is still confusing!" ~student
   
   
   
   
   
7. Parent sends an email during 1st period while you are teaching. Check your email the first chance you get three periods later: you have three follow up emails demanding to know why you haven't answered yet
   
   
   
   
8. "My son is smart! Why are you failing him?" ~ parent "He hasn't turned in any assignments or his paper." ~teacher "So? Why is that stuff even important?" ~ parent
   
   
   
   
   
9. "What do you mean you can't go to Taco Tuesday because you have to grade? Don't you get off work at 3pm? Why would you have to do work after you're done with work" ~"friends"
   
   

   

   My actual response to that text message

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
10. Reviews with class. Offers to stay early and late for help. Constantly asks if the students understand. Class average on test: 65%
    
    

Despite all of this, I still love my job. I must be crazy

Teacher Fight Club

So I had my students, in pairs, write legends about a tradition at the school. I got some awesome/funny/amazing legends. The best one was actually not a legend but a myth. However, it was too funny not to share.

Sit back and enjoy the ridiculousness.

*Note - what you see in bold is my editing out names and replacing it with the department the teacher is from. Otherwise, it is exactly how my students wrote it (grammar mistakes and all).

The Story of the Teacher Fight Club

Did you ever wonder what is under the school & why a majority of teachers wear long sleeves. The teachers wear the long sleeves to cover up the cuts & bruises they get fighting underneath the school in the underground fight club. Run by none other than my mom who happens to work at the school ! Many years ago my mom worked she started the underground fight club with PE teacher. 

The rules were that every teacher must participate in fight club from the very beginning religion teacher was the reigning champion in the beginig years, you can see him walking out of the school late at night to his car a  purple 1975 convertible Cadillac de Ville with cheetah print seats.  but he has fallen off the top because of younger aged teachers that are starting to take title once held for decades.

Teachers were always getting hurt but always had to come up with excuses for their injuries like science teacher & how she said she broke her knee after slamming into the ground was a cover up for when 2nd religion teacher grabbed her picked her up and did a Gutwrench powerbomb onto a table one of the most brutal moves in wrestling this video was leaked and can be seen on worldstarhiphop.com.own footage of these Mystical events.

One of the up coming stars is none other than me it is rumored that she can bench over 4,000 pounds and can be seen on some days doing squats with the bleacher and doing bicep curls with cars. The past 3 years she has destroyed the competition know 32-4 she is undisputedly one of the best in the game and not a force to be reckoned with.

But it wasnt always smooth roads for her in her second fight against the reigning womens champion Momma K they call her (science teacher from earlier) she pulled a michinoku driver with her metal knee totally crushing me bone but was said to only be a ACL tear. ******

This looked like the end of her career for sure but she trained and came back the next year sweeping the competition off there feet she was the underdog and two years later is one of the best in the game another powerhouse in the feather weight womens division is fellow English teacher also known as the flying Squirrel with her speed and agility she is a big contender for the title this years.







******I actually had ACL surgery last school year. I wish I tore it this way.

Re-titled Novels and Plays

My sophomores drove me up a wall yesterday when I assigned an essay. Some of the things that came out of their mouths hurt my soul* but one thing that they said, not only hurt my soul, but gave me this blog idea.

While assigning the essay on Middle Eastern and African literature, one of my students made the connection back to Things Fall Apart. However, they did not say "Things Fall Apart," they said "That book about that guy that killed himself because of some white guys or something."

Yes, I'm sure that is what the novel is titled.

This lead to an idea.

What if high school students titled novels/plays?

So, using the knowledge of what my students have said in the past, I have put together some titles of famous novels that we read at my school as if they were titled by my students.

Sadly, I could keep going but I must stop before it gets out of hand and I neglect my grading.


*Here is why: I assigned the thesis essay using the same requirements I have used all year and that were used their freshmen year since it is a department policy and just common writing sense. (If you don't know what they are, go here. It will help) These quotes actually came out of their mouths:

"Wait! We need quotes?! Since when do we need quotes?!"
"Holy crap! We need a works cited page? Why do I need one when I have the thing after the quote?"
"So we only need two quotes for the entire paper right?"

Survival of 3rd Quarter Slump

Ah, the end of the 3rd quarter has happened. For those of you that teach high school (maybe middle school as well), you know that grades drop significantly during this quarter. The underclassmen assume that they have life figured out, so they start to slack off. The juniors have started to get too preoccupied with prom and the seniors have started to stop caring (the real challenge comes to get seniors to do ANYTHING during 4th quarter).

Due to all of this, the grades of most students drop a letter grade if not more. This then causes parents to freak out and email you over, and over, and over, and over asking for grade changes. It also causes students BEGGING for extra credit.

How do you survive this? I have a few suggestions for you.

• Pretend you have become completely computer illiterate and you don't know how to access your email until a week after the 4th quarter starts. "Oh, I'm sorry. I had temporary amnesia and couldn't remember how to log into my email." I'm sure the parents will understand
    
• Smile anytime any student says something to you. Just smile. Don't speak. Just smile. The students will be driven away by your creepiness.
   
  
     

• Respond to any email with condescending Wonka. This is my personal favorite option.
  
   
     
• Throw your computer out the window. You know, because if you don't have a computer, you can't answer any emails. It is a fool proof excuse.
     
• Remember that you're supposed to be a professional and keep your cool even though it is super annoying that the students only care about their grades now. This is obviously the only logical option. Which is why the douchebag student meme should help. Yes, I know I've used this before but when it helps, it helps.
  
  

7 Painfully Accurate High School Teacher Hashtags

So this awesome Buzzfeed post is titled "24 Painfully Accurate Teacher Hashtags" and like most things, it is directed mostly at elementary teachers (or so I hope because I pray no high school teacher would use #WhyIsThisSticky because I'm pretty sure if you are saying this to high school students, it isn't the same type of "sticky".....).

There is nothing wrong with this since I'm all for elementary teachers because, well, they are teachers but, I would like to make it more geared towards high school teachers, although some could apply across the board. So, to replace the seven (numbers 2, 3, 4, 12, 14, 17, 23) that are geared towards elementary school, I present to you:

7 Painfully Accurate High School Teacher Hashtags

1. #PaperGrading #DidYouReallyWriteThat
   
   

   

   Pearls Before Swine

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. #ExtraCredit #DoYourWork
   
   
   
3. #Listen #GetOffTwitter
   
   
4. #Parents #ScreamsInside
   
   
   
5. #Senoritis #BeMoreThanABlob
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
6. #LastDayOfQuarter #OhNowYouCare
   
   
   
7. #BangsHeadOnDesk #Cries
   
   

I Couldn't Make This Stuff Up If I Tried

Today was a long day after being off Thursday and Friday. I felt frazzled most of the day and felt like I didn't get anything accomplished. So I was in desperate need of a laugh which caused me to go hunting through my Facebook.

Over the course of my three years of teaching, I have plenty of crazy student comments that I have collected on my own personal Facebook that I decided to compile some of them for your viewing pleasure. These are all from this year of teaching. I have soooo many more but that would require time to Facebook stalk myself. 

I promise you, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. These are all actual things that happened with my students.

August 28, 2013
Animal Farm was a summer reading book

"Bring Animal Farm to class tomorrow. You'll need it" ~Me
"Wait. We needed to read that book? I thought we just had to do the assignment!" ~students

This is teaching day number 1.


And this is why I'll eventually have a permanent dent in my desk from my head.

September 19, 2013
Upon my seniors discovering that I have written up 8 students for cheating this week via the method of copying and pasting:

"Our generation is doomed!" ~Student 1

"Damnit America! We can't even cheat right anymore! Our country is going downhill!" ~Student 2

September 24, 2013
The assignment: Using your knowledge of 1960's America, what might Dr. Seuss' The Sneetches be an allegorical reference to?

The answer that I have gotten from enough students to be worried about the future of America:

Slavery

Somehow the Civil Rights movement was a movement to end slavery.


I'm going to go cry now.


October 22, 2013

"Gilgamesh is told to chill out."


Literary analysis from a sophomore right there.

November 5, 2013
In reference to finding out my mom would be the long term sub for a math teacher

"Your mom can't be a math teacher" ~ freshmen
"Why not? I promise you she is" ~ me
"She is too nice to be a math teacher! What is she teaching, sunshine math?" ~ freshmen

November 13, 2013
Moment of feeling old: Freshmen phone goes off in class with the ring tone of "WAAAAZZZZZZUP!" The kids all laugh and I take the phone. At the end of class, the kids were asking where that was from.

None of them knew.

I was shocked. Then I realized none of them were ALIVE when that commercial came out.


Crap.

December 13, 2013
I was notified that my "swag level" has increased to an insanely high level due to having colored staples.


Get on my level people.

January 10, 2014
"Does this story about the Nigerians take place in Africa or a different country?" ~sophomore


I just banged my head on my desk. Multiple times.

January 24, 2014
Putting students in group for a debate and I group together five boys that I know that didn't read.

"This group isn't fair!" ~student 1
"Well, you know she did it because she knows we didn't read" ~Student 2

To student 2 "There is hope for you." ~me

February 3, 2014

Today I told a student to stop being a fool and pretending that he knew something when he clearly wasn't listening.

He informed me to grab a pair of gloves to see if it would fit and that he promised it wouldn't.

I thanked him for the O.J. reference. The rest of the class didn't know who that was.

Not sure if I should be impressed my one student knew the case or sad the rest of my class didn't.

February 7, 2014
I have an out of work response set up on my email and I told all my students I may not be able to respond as quickly as normal. A student emailed me yesterday. He just sent another saying "You were able to send an email saying you were in Baltimore but not one to answer my question. Why is that? I really need an answer."

Note: the question they are asking me is if they need to write in complete sentences for an assignment. Not only have I said it in class multiple times, it is also on the directions. 

I worry sometimes....

Puppies in Birthday Hats

I have had a long day. It is Friday. I have last period planning. I do not feel like grading at this current moment. Exams are next week so my students are stressed. Perfect time for something to laugh about.

Enjoy my friend's dogs celebrating a doggie birthday. This picture is my go to picture for a smile and a laugh.

http://imgur.com/gallery/plV3fd5

Laughing Instead of Going Crazy

Curiosity of Stephen Patis andPeals Before Swine

It has been a very looooong day at school and my last period planning took forever to get here.

Why was it so long you ask?

Besides the fact that my students seemed to have ingested pounds of sugar, I was grading essays during my spare minutes. The above comic pretty much sums up how I feel after grading some of these essays. Nearly every essay I want to write various comments like Cameron Diaz does in Bad Teacher. If you have never seen that movie, I have put the video of her grading short answers below (language NSFW since she drops the f-bomb once). It pretty much sums up how every teacher feels while grading. The first time I saw that scene I couldn't stop laughing for a good 5 minutes so I missed the next scene and had to rewind.

Basically, the point of this post is to give you some laughs since you're most likely on the verge of losing it and going crazy. Hopefully they help.

(Since I am an English teacher, I will say that I have not created any of these images/videos. If I know the author I will give them credit but some were just circulated on the internet so much that I'm not sure who the original author is)