Teacher Fight Club

So I had my students, in pairs, write legends about a tradition at the school. I got some awesome/funny/amazing legends. The best one was actually not a legend but a myth. However, it was too funny not to share.

Sit back and enjoy the ridiculousness.

*Note - what you see in bold is my editing out names and replacing it with the department the teacher is from. Otherwise, it is exactly how my students wrote it (grammar mistakes and all).

The Story of the Teacher Fight Club

Did you ever wonder what is under the school & why a majority of teachers wear long sleeves. The teachers wear the long sleeves to cover up the cuts & bruises they get fighting underneath the school in the underground fight club. Run by none other than my mom who happens to work at the school ! Many years ago my mom worked she started the underground fight club with PE teacher. 

The rules were that every teacher must participate in fight club from the very beginning religion teacher was the reigning champion in the beginig years, you can see him walking out of the school late at night to his car a  purple 1975 convertible Cadillac de Ville with cheetah print seats.  but he has fallen off the top because of younger aged teachers that are starting to take title once held for decades.

Teachers were always getting hurt but always had to come up with excuses for their injuries like science teacher & how she said she broke her knee after slamming into the ground was a cover up for when 2nd religion teacher grabbed her picked her up and did a Gutwrench powerbomb onto a table one of the most brutal moves in wrestling this video was leaked and can be seen on worldstarhiphop.com.own footage of these Mystical events.

One of the up coming stars is none other than me it is rumored that she can bench over 4,000 pounds and can be seen on some days doing squats with the bleacher and doing bicep curls with cars. The past 3 years she has destroyed the competition know 32-4 she is undisputedly one of the best in the game and not a force to be reckoned with.

But it wasnt always smooth roads for her in her second fight against the reigning womens champion Momma K they call her (science teacher from earlier) she pulled a michinoku driver with her metal knee totally crushing me bone but was said to only be a ACL tear. ******

This looked like the end of her career for sure but she trained and came back the next year sweeping the competition off there feet she was the underdog and two years later is one of the best in the game another powerhouse in the feather weight womens division is fellow English teacher also known as the flying Squirrel with her speed and agility she is a big contender for the title this years.







******I actually had ACL surgery last school year. I wish I tore it this way.

Re-titled Novels and Plays

My sophomores drove me up a wall yesterday when I assigned an essay. Some of the things that came out of their mouths hurt my soul* but one thing that they said, not only hurt my soul, but gave me this blog idea.

While assigning the essay on Middle Eastern and African literature, one of my students made the connection back to Things Fall Apart. However, they did not say "Things Fall Apart," they said "That book about that guy that killed himself because of some white guys or something."

Yes, I'm sure that is what the novel is titled.

This lead to an idea.

What if high school students titled novels/plays?

So, using the knowledge of what my students have said in the past, I have put together some titles of famous novels that we read at my school as if they were titled by my students.

Sadly, I could keep going but I must stop before it gets out of hand and I neglect my grading.


*Here is why: I assigned the thesis essay using the same requirements I have used all year and that were used their freshmen year since it is a department policy and just common writing sense. (If you don't know what they are, go here. It will help) These quotes actually came out of their mouths:

"Wait! We need quotes?! Since when do we need quotes?!"
"Holy crap! We need a works cited page? Why do I need one when I have the thing after the quote?"
"So we only need two quotes for the entire paper right?"

Literary Analysis: Sophomore Style

So my sophomores had to write dialectical journals about Things Fall Apart. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this, it is when students take quotes and write about them. They can write about how the quote inspires them or makes them angry or confuses them. Basically they can write what ever they want as long as it is about the quote.

The purpose is not for them to make an argument or analysis the text but just to get them thinking about the text. Most of them end up analyzing the text as well as reflecting upon it but they don't feel like they are because it isn't in a formal setting. (you can find the assignment here)

Needless to say, I'm getting some pretty funny/awesome responses (not sarcastic at all). They were too good to pass up. I have also gotten some that made me want to cry which I have included as well. Since these are the awesome gems of my sophomores, I have titled this "Literary Analysis: Sophomore Style." Enjoy. (note: I didn't change a thing so the spelling and grammatical mistakes are my student's not mine)

• "Also, it really loved me in a bad way that Okonkwo lied to his whole family and lied to Ikefuma saying that he was going back to his family."
• "He doesn’t take crap from anyone, he’s strict and to the point"
• "In this quote Mr.Brown is trying to get people who are not educated to join school so they can read and write and become smarters."
• ^"smarters" made me stop grading for the day. I just couldn't handle it.
• "All in all, that umunna was quite the party-pooper as Okonkwo was the one who bettered the party with his words."
• "Okonkwo is a tragic hero because at the end of the movie....."
• Didn't realize we read a movie in class
• "Okonkwo has what we now a day call anger issues"
• "He seems like a deep kinda guy."
• "Okay this guy Okwonko needs to stop. We get it you’re trying to be a big man and show your in control but really? Aiming a gun at a woman shows your either afraid to stand up to a woman like a man, or your actually crazy."
• I couldn't stop laughing at this one especially at the "actually crazy" part
• "I hope in the future he actually messes up while trying to “prove a point” and goes to far and realizes how idiotic he has been."

Sometimes I really love my students.